Part XXX - Sure to be blocked by mail marshal

Absolute friggin madness!!

I am now back in Malaysia. The teaming metropolis of KL no less. 3 nights ago I was right up near the top of Thailand in a seedy hotel, just across the river in Laos making up my razzudock how I was going to get to Singapore before the 30th. I knew it was doable but wanted a couple of spare days to chill out and sightsee / relax near my destination. I am now a 5.5 hour bus ride away from Singapore leaving 2 whole days to leisurely explore this insane monument to capitalism and no need to stay in Singapore which I don't like anyway. Excellent!

The 2 day slow boat ride up the Mekong was rather laid back. I was really hungover the first day, well, probably still drunk when I got on! I stumbled on late, yelled out 'Hello fellow travellers!' then curled up under the seats and went to sleep for a couple of hours. It was surprisingly comfortable down there. My fellow travellers were a diverse but good bunch. Swiss fulla, English fulla, a Japanese chick and too uninteresting Danish girls. Took bloody ages though. 10 hrs the first day followed by a stop off in a small village perched on the side of a mountain range, then another 9 hours to the border town. I could have done the whole trip in 7 hours by speed boat but it looked pretty damn unpleasant. They're sleek little boats, taking about 6-8 people and apparantly chew through 250L of fuel for the return trip. Saw quite a few of these fanging past, 4 cylinder car engine going full noise the whole way making a hur of a racket. Fun for a couple of hours I thought but not 7! Especially when it rained for a few hours on the first day. We convieniently got into town half an hour after the border post closed. As a daily route, this is obviously no accident. Was running low on kip too and there aren't a lot of ATMs in Laos, certainly not in small towns but got across to Thailand with 100baht to spare $4 NZ. Woo hoo.

I got my self on an over night bus to Bangkok which was reasonably comfortable and no crap karaoke videos, just the thai language version of U571. It was still entertaining except it was hard to tell the germans from the americans due to the fact they all spoke Thai! Got into Bangkok at 5am but the local buses we already running so headed straight off to Khaosan Rd, everything running smooth. I decided to once again walk to the railway station. Mainly for the excercise after 10 hours attempting to sleep on a bus. I didn't take the scenic route through Chinatown but have concluded that yes, it is still a long way. Sorted a ticket for a train all the way to Butterworth (right beside my beloved Penang) in Malaysia on a train with sleeper, sweet. Just a few hours to kill in Bangkok. I then walked to Siam Square, a major shopping district which, unconveniently didn't open for another 2 hours. No biggie, cos its actually on one of the 2 bus routes I know so got back to Khaosan for a whole 7baht (40c).

I went to this awesome exhibition at the Bangkok gallery. (This is why the Tao led me back to the Khaosan area and not shopping!) I nearly forgot it was on but I saw a poster for it. A contemporary chinese painter called Xi Shang. This dude rocks! Works on a similar vein to what I'm up to at the present which was really inspiratational. The woman at the gallery told me he'd be there in person after 2. Alas, my train was at 2:45. I tried in vain to get there first but events conspired and I missed out.

The train ride was pleasant. All 22 hours of it! I was sitting next to a fulla from New York and a guy from Gambia. Great conversation was had the whole way, well, other than night time where I was in blissfull slumber in my bunk. Probably more comfortable than most of the beds in Laos. Kapoc affairs they are, that are as compacted as a dirt floor!

The transfer in Butterworth was sweet too. Got to the gate of the station and a guy says "taxi?", I said "no, bus" so another guy took me to a bus. Which left almost straight away and rapidly headed off along the toll way, only one stop and 6 hours later I'm in the middle of KL with time on my hands. Went for a walk through the night market before and the shopping looks pretty good, its going to be an interesting couple of days.

XXIX - A dire warning.

Louang Prabang is a nice little village situated on a peninsular at the confluence of the Mekong and some other river. A world heritage city apparently. The french must have hated giving the place up. No scummy alleyways here. Just quaint little paved lanes and tidy villas. Except the villas are now inhabited by Lao families and have ducks n chickens n stuff in the yard. The locals race their dragon boats up and down the Mekong. They get a good speed up too considering the impressive flow of one of the worlds great rivers. The Lao people don't seem to work a lot, I dunno if its a holiday or whether they always sit around drinking beers and playing that game with steel balls that you thow in the sand. The game the 'Whare' tried to sell to the nation. Phousie mountain is cool. Its a small hill with temples on right in town. Nice little rocky out crops and little shrines. They've got a buddha footprint. Seems to be a fixation over here. Every country must have their own buddha foot print! Except the Buddha would have to be about 30 feet tall to make such a print.

Vang Vieng was pleasing enough that I stayed for almost a week. I checked out one of the caves and got a dire warning from some german girls walking out. "You should take a guide or you'll die!" Pah, We Kiwis don't need no damn guide. The caves were ok, a cave is a cave. I had a bit of a look around. The problem with caves is they're so quiet I realise how bad my ears ring. Makes the outdoors all that much better though. There was a nice little out crop in front of the cave, partway up the mountain so I did some really excellent Qigong while admiring the scenery. One could procure themself poppy tea and and other organic substances, direct from the bar. If one was so inclined. We tried to watch the rugby... saw 5 mins of the second half before it got scrambled. Neil at the guesthouse reckoned it does this all the time. Lao TV company probably didnt pay the bill.

The trip to Louang Prabang took about 6 hours and wound itself through some impressive scenery. Enough to rival NZ actually. Massive mountains enshrouded in clouds. Huge cliffs. There was one I really wanted to climb. It had 'climb me' written all over it. Some fulla crashed his hilux off the road and we all stood around looking, as you do. Could see an indicator and a bumper a bit further down. The vehicle was probably a hundred meters down in the jungle.

We stopped in a small village for refreshments. There was a dude casually wandering around with an AK slung over his shoulder. Didn't look army either. I wanted to take his photo but figured if I asked he'd probably just take my camera and if I took a photo surreptitious like, he'd shoot me. It took all the restraint I could muster not to ask though. Two tourists got killed on that road back in 2003 apparently, got robbed. tried to run... Saw an army check point along a bit further with a machine gun pointing up the road.

Laos is choice. I could write lots about it but can't be bothered. Too busy enjoying the place. Got a 2 day slow boat ride up the Mekong starting tomorrow to get to the Thai border. The great race is on, must get to Singapore before the 30th!

Part XXVIII - Welcome to the jungle

Laos. Most bombed nation on the planet!

Vang Vieng is a nice little laid back town up in the mountains. I'm liking it a lot. I have a nice guesthouse called Pans Place which the Tao led me to. Quite literally actually, they had a yin yang on the gate which kind of pulled me in. Run by a kiwi guy and his Lao partner. They have the Osho tarot deck in the lounge for all to use and its a really nice deck. The place has an excellent homely atmosphere. I had an immensely satisfying game of chess, despite the fact that I lost. Neils bombardment at the start was intense and unrelenting, but my men's morale was high and it took him a long time to mop up the insurgency.

Over looking the town are some impressive limestone karst formations, a bit more solid and mountain like that the Krabi variety. There are some cool caves in there too. It gets really hot here during the day but cools off nicely in the evening. There are activities here like drunken pub crawl down the river by inner tube. It is nice being back in an area with topographic variation. Being on the flats just doesn't do it for me. Especially flats full of muddy water! By day there are bird calls everywhere, by night, the sound of crickets and other strange insects. They have something in places like Laos and Sumatra that Thailand has lost in its rampant development. The land is stronger here, has a stronger influence. Well, being mountainous its a lot harder to tame. Can't really argue with a mountain. Has a vibe not unlike New Zealand really, a certain closeness to the land. I think of Welly, surrounded by the green belt. Walk 5 mins from most parts and you can be in the bush.

The ride here by local bus was interesting. It was a patu old bus that could barely climb the hills. I was sitting next to a one eyed old man. We passed an army truck towing what looked like a world war 2 era artillery piece. There's a write up about a US attack in the Vietnam war in the area. 300 odd peasants were sheltering from the relentless bombing in a large cave. A US jet fighter fired 4 missiles at it and killed them all. The people are seemingly chilled out here though. The US has done this kind of thing to so many nations, it makes me wonder the percentage of the worlds population secretly harbouring anti-US sentiment. Well, they're starting to find that out now I guess... Hopefully they're not on my flight!

I watched the Da Vinci Code last night. It was rather amusing, cheesy as. The doco "the hidden history of Christ (I think)" I saw on Sky years ago that the book was based on was far more interesting. The movie was basically retelling it with 'intense' music and bad dialogue. Any righteous defenders of the movie out there?

I had every intention of going exploring today but this hasn't happened as yet. I'm sure there was something other than caffeine in my breakfast coffee which sort of trapped me in the cafe on the cushions out back. Was interesting though. Had a good chat with this Israeli chick who comes from the north where the Hezbollah rockets are falling. A good time to not be there. Its quite a luxury to come from a country with no borders to defend. No compulsory military training.

Hmm.. its raining now. No exploring for me today. At least its not so damn hot! I add some pics to this when I get better internet facilities.

XXVII - Lao P.D.R

Sunset over the Mekong - Nong Khai

I am now in Vientiane, the capital of Laos. A communist state apparently. I not sure what is actually communist here, seems all very capitalist to me although with very few beggers for a tourist area. There are lots of tourists but they seem to be a respectful bunch. A different breed than the bulk of the back packers in Thailand. More late 20s and 30s people here with a few old hippies too. I met my first ever Danish person although his accent is very London. He told me this is because Danes don't tend to travel. Vientiane is not unlike Phnom Penh, french colonial style but a bit neater with more European restaurants. French, Italian and a plethora of bakeries. There is an impressive arc d'triomphe style monument which provides an excellent view of a very green city. Along the Mekong there are tables set up on the grass for a pleasant evening meal.

I hired a decrepit old scooter which I was only prepared to do about 50kph on cos any more and the gearbox would emit the sound of imminent destruction. I headed out to the Buddha Park (Xieng Khuan) yesterday. This require my Sumatran style direction finding. "Sabai dee, Xieng Khuan?" [point]. Got there though, no worries. Not that diffcult seeing I had to drive down the Mekong until I found it. Xieng Khuan is the original location of the cult the mystic dude set up. The place is incredible, better than the new place on the Thai side. The statues at Sala Kaeu Ku are taller but Xieng Khuan has a better atmosphere. There is a lot more grass and it generally has a more park like atmosphere. Its right beside the Mekong so I enjoyed a beer lao there, looking out past a heard of cows, the river and Nong Khai on the other side. The cows all had bells around their necks which added to the atmosphere. There were quite a few monks hanging out in the grounds so I had a chat to them and a bunch of school kids working on their English.


The place was excellent for a bit of Qiqong although just as it was getting really intence some ants decided to attack my foot. This is an ongoing problem over here, it happens everytime I try to do some gongs on the grass. They gave up pretty quick due to sudden death however. After half an hour or so of gongs the sun was getting low and the whole place took on a surreal quality.


There is a strange umm, temple I suppose, there. There are steps up to the top affording an excellent view of the park. There is a hatch down into the 3 middle levels of the building with heaps of statues in there. It seems to represent heaven, earth and the underworld or what ever three levels of existence the dude is preaching. In the lower two levels there are no lights and very little light gets in the tiny windows. It is very creepy in there, especially the lowest level. Most of the statues are barely visible at all, although I saw a skull on one of the figures.


I'm off to Vang Vieng today by local bus. That'll be an interesting mission.

XXVI - A mystic, shamanic fushion of Buddhist and Hindu symbolism

Sala Kaew Ku is a must see!

I jumped astride a bicycle and headed out to Sala Kaew Ku which is an impressive sculpture garden about 6 k from Nong Khai. It was set up by a Lao born fulla who merged buddhism and hinduism which have the same roots anyway and added a bit of mysticism and shamanism. I take it this means he ate lots of mushrooms. The place is huge with massive concrete scuptures of buddhas sheltered by the naga. Of multi-armed deities and dancing girls. 4 faced brahmins, skeletons, animals, the place is incredible. The most inspiring place I've found since reaching Thailand. I thought maybe I was just getting tired and hard to impress but I met my fellow cancerian Marianne and she agreed.

After finally having my fill of the Australian TV channel I headed out for a midnight cycle under the intense full moon. Actually, I wasn't really watching Blue Healers, I had the TV on to drown out the nauseating pop rock from upstairs... honest. Its a nice run along the river front. There are bars and restaurants all along the Mekong but no one in most of them or maybe 2 farang here, another there. Sometimes a small group of Thais. There are obviously a fair amount of farang here. The usual shameful old men with their young thai partners. It surprises me the lack of tourist development here seeing this is the main land route into Laos. It would seem most travellers head straight to the border. They are seriously missing out. Nong Khai is a quiet sleepy place but very pleasant. The locals are pleasant too, not being over exposed to tourism and the associated w_ankers that ruin it for everybody. The rapid flowing Mekong River gives a sence of doing when one is actually sitting at a restaurant doing absolutely nothing.

My muse is returning! All it needed was something truly inspirational.

XXV - A provincial Thai Experience.

Buriram is like the Thai equivalent of Palmerston North. I had this pull to go there for some reason. On the map it was the closest centre to the khmer ruins of Phnom Rung but this wasn't particularly why I chose it, there was just a strong pull to go there and not the nearby larger centre of Khorat which I actually had a map for.

The train ride up from Bangkok was rather pleasant. A couple of beers as the train wound its way up a mountain range with the occasional Buddha statue poking out through the trees. Upon scaling the mountains the top plateau was just more of the same rice paddy landscape all over SE Asia.

I got to Buriram and roamed the streets for about 10 mins in search of a cheap hotel. My shizer guidebook said there was but didnt deem it necessary to give locations. I met this thai fulla who gave me a hand. He dubbed me on the back of his bicycle to a restaurant in a slightly farang area. There isn't really any form of tourist area in Buriram, no back packers go there. There is around 500 farang living in the area though on retirement visas. I talked to this English guy Peter and managed to sus out a motorbike and Wanita at the restaurant let me stay at her place. This is a nice place in a middle class neighbourhood that used to be owned by her 'boss' a Farang who died recently. Aek the dude I met first came over and we had some beers, then cruised around to his house and met his wife, mother in law, sister inlaw and young baby who live in a two bedroom flat next to a Wat. We drank beers and sat in the car listening to Scorpions.

The next day I cruised out to see the ruins of Phnom rung. Aek tagged along on the back and we visited Wanitas family in a small village near the ruins. Phnom Rung is set on top of a hill in a nice park with shady trees about. We checked out some other ruins in the area too and a bird resort. I stayed at Aeks place the next 2 nights and night we got on the p1ss big time over a tasty meal and some of the locals came around to say gidday.

Aek designs gardens, interiors and swimming pools so on Monday he took me on his rounds looking at a pool that was being built and another house being built. All over the place he would point out these houses, farang here, farang there and it would always be some massive house. Lots of european guys come over here for their retirement and get Thai wives or partners. I suppose they come over so they can live like kings on their retirement savings. We went to the university and a local government admin office. We went to visit a monk too.

The last night we had a tasty feast of Vietnamese, Thai and western food.

Getting to Nong Khai by bus wasn't straight forward but was no problem. I had to change buses at Khon Kaen and then again at Udon Thani. Easy enough, people show you where to go at each bus station. I was never aware of which town I was passing through the whole way as there was no english script anywhere except brand names I went to a restaurant in Ubon Thani. The woman there spoke no english but she understood my heavily accented thai and served up some delicious pad thai.

Dragon fruit is tasty. Its pink and sort of looks like and artichoke (I think) but inside its white and not unlike kiwifruit.

I am now in Nong Khai on the mighty Mekong River. There is a nice view from the restaurant at my guesthouse across the Mekong at Laos, where I shall be tomorrow. If all goes to plan. Got a really nice guesthouse called Mekong Guesthouse and its cheap. Its actually a really expenisve place but they have a dorm with TV and warm shower! As I'm the only person staying in the dorm its not really an inconvenience.

Getting medication in Thailand is really easy. Dr Aaron prescribes himself anti-malarial medication. Goes to chinese run chemist and buys it. No expensive beaurocrat in the middle.

XXIV - A casual stroll through Bangkok

Bangkok is not a pedestrian friendly city. The whole place is criss crossed with busy thoroughfares with no over bridges. I went for a walk anyway, deciding the exercise would do me good. I ran into P_rn (imagine having a name that gets blocked by mail marshal) the masseuse after being away from Bangkok for 3 weeks and she asked how I got so big. The result of too many baguettes in Cambodia... Nah, I'm actually back to normal after wasting away on Thai food.

The railway station is approximately 4k away from Khaosan road... well, on the map it is. So I headed off in the right direction and found myself in an area of prayer shops followed by a bunch of appliance shops then the Bangkok equivalent of Dick Smith. A street lined with stalls peddling capacitors and diodes and stuff. Then a bit further along there were guys attacking old TVs and stereos with soldering irons. I inadvertently found myself in the flower market which was rather impressive. Some really interesting plants and spectacular umm.. flower arrangements.

I continued on and found myself in Chinatown which was good, I was heading in the right direct despite the minor botanical diversion. I never actually got lost but couldn't have given my exact location either due to a dearth of street signs and a seemingly endless maze of alleyways and markets with the occasional really busy road to cross. One is expected to automatically know what that really busy 4 lane road is called too. Much like Great St Road in Auckland, except there are lots of really busy 4 lane roads all over Bangkok After a period of respite in the Internet cafe I headed off and there was the railway station, right where I expected it to be, I just took an infinitely more interesting route than my planned thoroughfare down New Road.

I now have a train ticket for Buriram tomorrow morning and its at a civilised hour even. A 6 hour train ride with a few bevvies, sounds good to me.

I headed off in search of the nearest wharf so I could get the ferry back. There's a cool looking church hidden away in the alleyways around there, I wanted to go in but the gates were locked. My course took me to this execrable highrise hotel area with d!ckheads everywhere and a wharf cattering only for boat charters and a special ferry to get across to the unsightly hilton on the other side. Two doddering old pensioners were boarding at the time. I though about jumping on for amusement purposes but figured they wouldn't believe I was a guest and I'd only be stuck at the hilton anyway.

With that awful place behind me, I found the proper wharf and jumped on a ferry. Some how I managed to get the tourist boat. Not an overly bad thing, it was just a bit slower and had some dude calling out the attractions on a megaphone. He mixed up the wharf numbers though so I got off at the wrong place. The good thing is that they forgot to charge me. Bonus. Cost me nothing to get to the railway station and all the way back! Actually another bonus. As I headed up river by foot I went through market after market with not a farang in sight. I was seeing the Bangkok the locals see and it was a pleasing experience. There were hundreds of people peddling Buddhist charms that have been dug up in the rice paddies.

I found fortune teller alley. There was a large marquee with rows of Thais toting Universal Waite Tarot decks. This is obviously the deck recommended by the 'Thai School of Tarot'. Fair enough, its a good deck.

A con artist found me. He was friendly and wanted to have a chat, so I figured why not. His brother is a Professor working in NZ. If one is wont to believe such tales. I myself had a nice chat to the man then went on my merry way. Thais never stop you in the street for a casual chat and he was very well dressed to be sitting on a stool on the sidewalk among the charm peddlers. He casually steered the conversation to making money while travelling if you know what to buy. Very smooth. I'm sure he makes a lot of money from the greedy and stoopid. Must have been an annoyance wasting 15 minutes talking to me for naught. I figured he might do a bit better if he didn't look like the mafia...

A planned detour took me to a park for an excellent session of Qigong and Taiji, facing the palace complex with impressive storm clouds behind it no less! Then it was back to Khaosan Rd across the busy road I managed to part the flow of, a few weeks back. This time there was no biblical antics, I had to dodge and run like everyone else.

There is another Kiwi staying at my jap hippy guesthouse. I didn't pick it though cos hes got an Aussie accent after spending the last 10 years there. Was good to have a chat to a fellow kiwi even if he sounds like an ocker. Only the second kiwi I've met this whole trip! There is a black German girl staying there too. First one of them I've met also, dads from Sudan. She doesn't have the staunch German manner, was practically bouncing off the seat telling me about India. Must get there in the near future.

XXIII - ADSL, ATMs and 7-Elevens

Bangkok again. Back to civilisation at last!

I crossed the border yesterday at Koh Kong after a mission of a ferry ride. The night before departure involving a bit of a p1ss up at a bar run by a French expat. This young brit came in who is easily the most irritating person I've ever met. Was quite amusing to me actually as I sat there, pen in hand, reviving my flagging muse. I don't think he said a single sentence that wasn't a celebration of his great knowledge. He complained about the lack of good wine in Cambodia so of course, the barman (being French) got him some really good Bordeaux which he agreed was very fine (being a connoisseur of course) then whined about the price. Myself, like any Kiwi was quite happy chugging back 3000r (75c) handles of Angkor Draft which is actually a rather worthy beer, not unlike Tui. None of the formaldehyde and other toxic substances found in Thai beer.

Anyway, I was rather pleased that I didn't have a hangover. All was well getting to the ferry. I jumped up onto the roof with my fellow travellers and the freight which is the pick of locations. Its stuffy and claustrophobic inside the cabin. There were pigs and chickens coming along for the ride too. The sun was shining and I did some sunbathing for a while. Then slowly the clouds came over, then the wind got up.... then the sea got rougher and the rain came down so I headed into the cabin. Bad move. The nausea grew and grew so I dug some Sea Legs out of my pack which were probably 10 years old. This didn't cure my nausea but it gave my arms a crazy pins and needles sensation. So that's why they have expiry dates... The dude wouldn't let me out the door but I opened it anyway for fresh air then he left his post so I went out and sprawled on the narrow gangway, clinging to the rail as the wind howled and waves crashed about but it was a lot more pleasant than inside. After a while it settled down a bit so I jumped back on the roof where this old pommy character was still hanging out. This was definitely the place to be for the remainder of the 5 hour journey. The options being, sit in side where its warm and feel sick, or lie down up top where its really cold and feel fine. There was a nasty looking storm further out to sea but thankfully it stayed out there, the boats are long narrow affairs more designed for river runs than tackling the ocean. In Koh Kong there was a restaurant called Kiwi with a large Kiwi symbol on it. I had a Kiwi brand knife too incidentally, it too had a symbol of a flightless bird but was made in Thailand.

A moto ride to the border, then a 1 hour minibus ride took us to Trat. A large and rather neat Thai town. I've been impressed with the standard of the Thai urban environment actually. Most of them have nicely paved roads and tidy gutters. Department stores, supermarkets, Internet cafes. Its all very developed. All very western but with traditional markets too. I went for a stroll through the morning market. There was all sorts of interesting seafood there, still flapping or scuttling about. Fish, eels, squid, crabs, prawns... all sorts. I managed to procure myself some tasty noodle soup. There was no signage and the old woman spoke no English but she pointed to some noodles and I nodded and a couple of minutes later I had a really tasty pork noodle soup. My guesthouse even had a warm shower. My first warm shower in more than 2 months and it was bliss! Just as well, it was too fkn cold for a cold one. I don't know why but for some reason it wasn't very warm at all along the south coast. I actually put my polyprop on one evening.

Who ever invited Skype should be lynched! Some European twat just walked in, called out loudly "do you have Skype" then proceeded to yell at the top of his lungs into the microphone. The staff have told the arrogant $%^& off twice now. Now where did I leave that AK47! : )

Here are some ramblings from Sihanoukville I didn't get around to sending.

Sihanoukville is Cambodia's leading resort and only port. Its not all that but its ok. Actually I haven't looked at much of it, don't really feel the need. Its raining today as I sit in an Internet cafe which is actually a thatched hut. Half a dozen cows just walked past the door. Yesterday, I chilled out at the beach on a bamboo recliner as a lad of maybe 7 served me beer Laos. A worthy lager if ever there was. There was a few old Europeans fullas about with their half Asian preschoolers. I started to pass judgement then thought hmm.. that could be me, although highly unlikely. Heh, 'what shall I do with my retirement? umm... I know, I'll have a family!" A lot of the Cambodian women are rather attractive, there is a bit of Indian ancestry here in some of them, although they all start to look a bit tired as they age. The pressure of all that subservience mayhaps?

I have a nice room with bathroom and a sea view for $3, cant argue with that! Gets a good view of the sunset. There are a few islands off shore to look at too. It appears to be the best room in the hotel. The benefits of travelling the off season.

Well, its now the next day and its still raining, heavily at the moment I might add. I still have time to catch the fast boat to the Thai border today but I have a morbid fascination with being at the beach in the rain. And better to be on the land than out on the open sea me thinks.

Some um, Greek, has changed MSN Messenger to Greek and as I cant read Greek I can't change it back. How amusing. I recall having the same problem when I changed my mobile to German for a lark and then couldn't send texts cos T9 would change the word to things like achtung and shizer. Yes, I am rambling on as its raining and I have nothing better to do.

There is now a swift flowing river outside where the street used to be carrying large stones with it toward the sea. Its really cold, well I feel cold and the chick that runs the cafe is shivering although the BBC reckons its 25 degrees here at the moment. I must have finally acclimatised.

I was going to write a dissemination on Cambodia but I shall let the experience digest for a couple of days.

XXII - The tattered remains of french colonialism

Rarking around the country side on a 250cc dirt bike is up there with firing an AK47. I have spent the last 2 days fanging around the place looking at ruins. These being a bit less ancient that those at Ankhor.

The former seaside resort of Kep is an interesting place. The beach isn't all that but after being landlocked for weeks, surrounded by muddy water, it's all very pleasing. It was founded as a resort for colonials but now there are just the ruins of former mansions with cambodian squatters being the new inhabitants. Not that they live in splendor, theyre ju'st concrete shells as the villas were looted in the 80s to sell to the vietnamese to survive a famine. It rained quite a bit while I was there, which was rather appropriate for the place. They have cheesy concrete statues around the place. I'm down with anywhere that pays hommage to the crab :)


Today I headed up into the mountains to check out the remains Bokor, a french hillstation. It was cold as up there in the clouds. Finally found a use for my polyprop! Guidebooks say the road isn't for beginners. This is certainly correct, its rough as. Not unlike the forestry tracks up in the Tararuas Tom and I used to hoon around in as youffs. I was of course going hard out all the way up, jandals not exactly the bestest of offroad attire, but its all I had. They were fine exept when I put a foot down and they'd fly off. Spent 10 minutes looking for one on the way down. I get to the top and some mad b'stard has driven his Camry up there! A testament to the the build quality of a Toyota. In fact, about 90% of cars in cambodia are Toyotas. He does the run everyday taking tourists up there. I told him he was mad. Dirt bike is definately the tranportation method of choice. I talked to a european couple and it took them 2.5 hours to cover the 30k journey, I did it in about 30 mins. Silly tourists clinging on for dear life. Then again they probably thought I was mad, flying past with a toot and a roarrt and they're no doubt right! Barely staying on the track, but I survived with nothing more than a few scratches from the overhanging vegetation.

Former Catholic Church

Bokor covers quite a large area. Some of it was cleared for farmland (I'm picking thats what the several hundred acres of cutty crass was) There are the ruins of a casino, a hotel, lots of houses and a catholic church. The church was very cool. The concrete is covered in some form of orange growth and it was shrouded in mist. The Khmer Rouge holed up in there while the Vietnamese shot at them from the casino once upon a time. Interesting that back then one could baracade ones self in a building as a strategy, these days they'd call in an airstrike and it's all over. Standing on the roof of the old hotel was strange, I felt and intense loneliness up there, obscured from civilisation by the mist. Was hard to imagine the place being habited. Thats the idea of such a desolate place though me thinks. Then a ute would pull up and 15 tourists would jump out, missing the whole point of the place.

The town of Kampot itself is a dive although I have a nice room with bathroom for $2! There is a school across the road with kids chanting "nyah nyah nyah" all day. Then by night some strange creatures start up in a parody of the chanting children. I dont know what they are, but they live in the grass and there are many.

Learning here is all by rote. SE Asians cannot think out side the square. The don't understand my art because its not a direct depiction of anything in particular. An abstract concept is beyond their comprehension. This doesn't bother me, my art isn't for them. Although the lack of civilisation gets to me a bit. Travelling through this place has really instilled in me the importance of civilisation. As did Sumatra. Countries like this had it handed to them on a plate by the colonials. They then revolt, fair enough, I probably would too, but then choose to destroy all the infrastructure. The Khmer Rouge sent Cambodia back to the stone age, trying to regain the past glory of the Angkor days I think. Shows one cant impose civilisation on a people who are not ready for it. The road to Sihanoukville has been funded by the World Bank (according to a sign I read). Do they complete it in sections? No, they prepare the whole 30k stretch at once, then rather than sealing it, leave it to get full of potholes and fall to bits again while shovel toting labourers fight a losing battle to fill the holes. Third world problems aren't money related, it's a mindset IMHO. They'd rather build an extravagant victory monument than a decent road. I can't seem to create any decent work here, I suppose a mind that developed in the luxury of the developed world has trouble coming to terms with a more primative state of being. Rant rant rant...

To give the Khmers their due though, they do have a love of art. The Khmer Rouge tried to stamp out all culture. They turned Wats into pigstys and trashed angkor wat. The traditional art here is very cool. Its all Ramayana and Buddhist inspired. Naga bridges, statues of demons and gods... Rama and the monkey army, Vishnu churning the sea of milk. The mythology of the place is awesome and it's something we of the West have lost in favour of hard science. Maths and physics... it got man to the moon (or did it :) but its just so uninspiring... so unromatic... so dull. Ah, the joys of developing the right hemisphere of the brain!

Part XXI - Happiness is an AK47

The sound of an AK47 is impressive to say the least. I might say awe inspiring even. It is certainly a lot of fun when I'm doing the toting whilst pulling the trigger with glee! I see why there is so much warfare in the world. Firing an assult rifle in full auto is fun. Mr Kalashnikov must be so proud of his invention! I'm sure it's very difficult explaing to ill-educated and oppressed villagers that this is not a good solution to their problems.

So heres the tale... I was fanging around the countryside on a rented motorbike near the Thai border when I ran into a group of former Khmer Rouge militiamen. I wasn't much of a lucrative target however, being in possesion of only a few dollars. I got talking to one of the fullas and as I expressed an interest in their ways he decided to take me on their rounds. This was a fun filled day of border skirmishes with the thai army and a bit of looting and pillaging....

Well, heres what actually transpired...

A local guide took me out to a dodgy gun shootin' place on the outskirts of Phnom Penh. They had a range of activities to satisfy even the most inbread of hillbilly rednecks. Got a spare 200USD and you can fire a soviet made RPG, taleban styles... Can toss a grenade or get cracking on a heavy machinegun if that does it for you. I settled for a lash with the AK, followed by a few 9mm pistol rounds for dessert. After a couple of shots in semi-auto it was on to a full auto assault until there was so much dust in the air I couldnt even see the target anymore. On observation, the target was toast, having around 22 rounds in his torso. It wasn't exactly the most accurate grouping ever seen but who cares when you can just keep banging away until you hit something. After the AK, the decrepit old pistol didn't have much of a show, it jammed constantly and my arm was still wavering from the adrenaline rush.

Khmer Rouge victims at Cheong Ek

Following that, we headed to the Cheong Ek killing fields. They have a large monument full of skulls dug up from the region. Saw the tree they used to beat children against. Then off to the Khmer Rouge S21 detention centre. Thousands of people were tortured and killed at this former primary school. Theres still an awful energy residing in one of the blocks there which I hastily vacated. There are photos of many of the victims. The Khmer Rouge took meticulous records of their attrocities. The guards at the prison were children of 10 - 15, educated at an early age to be really sadistic torturers. There are some seriously horrific photos in there. Can't see how anyone could get off on such activties myself. Remove ones oppressor with an AK yes, but beating a shackled teacher or doctor to a bloody pulp? These guys made Auschwitz look humane. Shows how close to the surface the savage still remains I guess. Nah.. savages wouldn't be that perverse.

Some fulla at S21. The book says "Sex with children is illegal" so I surreptitiously took a photo. How could one resist...

Cells at S21. Although the filter on my camera made the colours rather warm, the atmosphere in there is quite the opposite.

The Khmer Rouge were never put on trial for their atrocities.

My 'flu like symptoms' have receeded so I have now vacated Phnom Penn and am out in the sticks at a small town called Kampot. The symptoms are starting to look somewhat like a mild case of malaria.

The road to Kampot was tarsealed but rough as guts and barely wider than one lane so there was lots of tooting and swerving around speeding lorries. The bus passed through a seaside town called Kep which seems to comprise of a lot of abandoned rich mans houses so I shall check that out me thinks. The landscape has changed finally. It was, yet again, flat all the way here but there are some impressive limestone karst formations about. Not quite up there with Krabi but still a welcome change. It is most pleasing to be within the vicinity of the ocean again. I still have an urge to get behind an AK. There are billboards dotted about the place touting disarmament so there is obviously still a lot of weaponry about. Cruising about the country side in the bus I thought it would ne nice to go running off into the wilds... an enjoyable fantasy but fantasy it shall remain on the account of the 6 million landmines still thought to be dotted about the landscape.

My drinking buddy at Angkor Wat

Part XX - Sean Penn gets the flu

Cambodia's a funny place. Number plates are optional here it would seem. There are rich men in nice new Landcruisers and poor people on ancient bicycles. Saw a Landcruiser run over a bicycle the other day. It provided a bit of entertainment from my vantage in the restaurant. There are quite a few beggars around. I got tired of giving to them real quick though. Give them a 1 USD and they'll sing your praises, give them 100 or 200 riel and they get shitty and want more so it's easier to ignore them. Had dinner at a place called the Dead Fish Tower the other night. They have crocodiles in a pond, right there in the restaurant. They're big enough to have a good gnaw on a person too.

Phnom Penh

I am currently in Phnom Penh staying at the lakeside backpackers ghetto at an nice guesthouse build on stilts over the lake. The people are really really friendly, cos they want me to use their moto services the cynic in me says. I still have the flu which really sucks! Codral is doing a good job of keeping my spirits up.

The bus ride down here was sweet. The roads here are really good, its just the road in from Thailand that is crap. Cambodia is so flat, flattest place I've ever been. Its all flat rice paddies and pasture all the way from the Thai border to Phnom Penh with massive lake Tonle Sap in the middle.

Phnom Penh is a surprising nice french colonial built city. Especially nice in that it was abandoned for 4 years in the 70s when the Khmer Rouge kicked everyone out and murdered most of them. It was a particularly affluent city with a vibrant cafe culture before then.

Other than that, nothing to report until I get out of the ghetto and see some stuff.

Heres the last mission in Siem Reap.

Flooded Forest

Went for a mission to the flooded forest with Emily and Jadie, the 2 brits. This involved a tuk tuk ride to the small village of Roulous then a boat trip. The morning market was in full swing as we passed through, was interesting to see a small town market in operation. The boat ride down to the forest was on a noisy long tail jobby, similar to the boats in Thailand but a bit more substantial. The 4 cylinder car engine on board was making some horrible knocking sounds and the captain kept looking back with a worried expression. We cruised down a small stream past cows and fishermen and crocodile farms and a village on stilts 5 metres in the air as the river takes back flow from the Mekong and floods in the wet season. The forest wasn't all that, didn't see any petrified trees like the guidebook said. We stopped in the village though which was totally untouristy which was nice after Siem Reap. We chilled for a while chatting to one of the local girls and talking politics with a fulla there. He'd actually been over seas and was quite clued up on global current affairs. Visited the local Wat which had awesome Buddhist paintings all over it, Sistine Chapel styles. The monk wanted Emily to marry him and the kids asked them for money. I, however, wandered around freely snapping photos of the paintings and drawing really terrible Buddhas for the kids.

Part XIX - Tuk tuks, Hey Mr? and the Real Tomb Raider.

There are kids all over the place trying to sell stuff... "buy my t-shirt" "buy a guide book"... "hey Mr, you want cold drink/something to eat..." Don't know when or if they go to school but they make more money doing this than their parents ever would have made in the rice paddies. There are ANZ Bank branches here. Alcohol is really cheap here too. A hippy of thai whiskey costs $1 and $10 for a 750 of Gordons gin. The bars have happy hour with 35c tap beer!

Temple Missions.

Day 1

Went on a temple mission today with a couple of brits I met at Naga guest house. Cool chicks. They hired a tuk tuk so I tagged along. A Cambodian tuk tuk is a motorbike with a roofed rickshaw like trailer behind. Does the trick and it costs $10 for the whole day. He's got a pretty sweet job, drive people to a ruin, chill out under a tree for an hour then take them to another ruin. Perfect job for an artist I thought. Chuck an easle on the roof rack. The drivers themselves do absolutely nothing but sit around waiting.

Detail of one of the gates at Angkor Thom

Went to the fortified city of Angkor Thom where lots of kids tried to sell us stuff. I bought a guide book which was excellent reading material while chilling out on the top level of Bayon. A temple ruin with about 200 heads peering out from it. It looks like a pile of rocks as you get up to it but its wicked when you hang out for a while and take in the vibe. There are sooooo many tourists here these days, its insane. Must be 10 times what there was when I was here 6 years ago. That said, most of the Japanese tour bus cretins hunt in packs so theres still peace and quiet to be had. They make great tourists but I think they miss the whole point of visiting an ancient ruin. Its so nice sitting in a shady doorway high up in a temple whilst under the stare of these massive ancient faces.

Bayon and your humble narrator

Saw the terrace of elephants and the terrace of large breasted dancing girls.

Went to the Thommanon but it was more of the same so stayed in our mighty chariot overseeing the whole affair.

Climbed a 50 meter high temple pyramid called Ta Keo and did some Qigong on an out crop right at the top. Was awesome, grooving out to the Qi enhanced view of the forest canopy.

Went to Ta Prom which they used some of for the movie Tomb Raider. The front entrance I think. Its a wicked place. This temple has been left pretty much in the condition the french fullas found it in the 19th century with massive strangler fig trees crushing the 800 year old ruins. Very cool.

Ta Prohm

Day 2

Got up at 10 past 4 this morning to go see the sunrise at Angkor Wat, the largest religious structure on the planet no less. Was an interesting experience crossing the bridge into the complex in the darkness, nice atmosphere. Slowly and rather unspectacularly it got light and half of Japan turned up as it did so.

Angkor Wat and Bayon are both representations of the Macrocosm of the Hindu universe with Mt Meru, home of the gods in the middle. I wandered into the place and climbed straight to the top to commune with Vishnu and co but feeling shattered after a 4am start, I went to sleep for 2 hours instead. Solid sandstone is surprisingly comfortable when you're as tired as I was. Then by the time I walked out and got some breakfast the girls were ready to leave. I'll no doubt mission back out there tomorrow though and check out the impressive bas-reliefs of the monkey army and Vishnu churning the sea of milk. Angkor Wat might be the largest but it lacks the atmosphere of places such as Bayon IMHO.

An unspectacular photo of Angkor Wat

Had a look at another temple called Preah Khan, even more in ruins than Ta Prohm. All sorts of interesting colours going on there with the different moss and lichen patches. Then headed off to a pool that was used for ceremonial bathing with a cool tower in the middle. There was no water in the pool though, it hasn't held water for hundreds of years apparantly, yet they managed to snap it with a good sized puddle in my guidebook.

Preah Khan

Day 3

Hasn't really happened thus far and its now 3:40. Got some sort of annoying cold or sun stroke or something, much to my disgust. Will attempt to mosie on out for an evening mission though.

Update!

Its funny how the universe will throw things up to challenge ones view of things. I was just beginning to think that europeans were a bunch of loud mouthed inconsiderate w@nkers, ever ready to blunder into the perfect photo or spoil the mood with their babbling when this Spanish fulla Santiago turns up at the guest house. He's an amateur photographer and 'environmental expert'. Thats his job title, not what he professes to be BTW. Good sort. The Israelis are currently on the out however for playing hacky outside my room and making a general racket late into the night prompting references to Hamas and Hezbolla on my part.

I managed to get my lurgy ridden arse out to Angkor Wat despite the viral content of my blood and it was awesome. All the masses were on their way out and very few were coming in which was a good sign. I came well provisioned with a huge bottle of water, some scary Cambodian liquor and a Coke chaser. This spirit was some strange stuff. Its made here by Chinese people I'm picking cos its got all sorts of chinese herbs in it. Its supposed to build muscle and fight fatigue which is a good thing as I had it for medicinal purposes. I found a nice spot near the bas-reliefs gallery to loiter and medicate myself. The liquor was some rancid stuff, tasted like the medicinal herbs Tania used to cook up on the Allenby stove. But it went down well and I was feeling well in the mood for a journey around the 600m of bas-relief that encirlces the main temple enclosure.

There were a few lingering tour groups but there were whole stretches with no body in sight. Excellent! I walked past depitctions of Vishnu churning the sea of milk with lots of scantily clad celestial dancers being the result of his toil. There was Rama and the Monkey Army doing battle with the forces of some demon or other and all manner of entertaining fodder. Funny that it was totally different from what I remember 6 years ago. Must have been the Happy Pizza. I found a nice dog to hang out while topping up my blood alcohol and then discovered the place had been over run by monkeys and there was not a person in site.

A quick stroll through the forest took me to the north gate where I killed a bit of time in total peace before wandering back into the temple proper. All the monkeys had left, as had all the people too. There was not a person in site. Awesome, the Tao had lead me on a path to experiencing Angkor Wat at night, all by myself, no sneaking in necessary!

I climbed to the top level and facing the east gate, proceeded to do some Qigong. Not much visualisation is necessary with a sybolic Mt Meru behind and a forest and massive moat in front. Gradually it got darker and darker and the sounds of crickets and bats took over.

Eventually I had worked my way through Ba Duan Jin and Jen Ji Dao Kit Kuen (supreme ultimate fist!) plus once through the Taiji form and it was time to mosie on, in pretty much total darkness. I managed to descend the rather steep stair case from the upper level without plummeting to my death. Its supposed to represent scaling a mountain and is rather an accurate representation. It was more treacherous than climbing Gunung Sibaya! On the way out I passed a really cool shrine which I was going to take a photo off but this old man was there and obviously p1ssed off that I was still there, grunting and guesticulating at the door. He was the only other person in the complex from what I could tell.

Eventually I finished the long walk along the causeway to the front gate and my moto driver was still there waiting for me, so cruised on back into town.

Choice bro!

Part XVIII - The Spiders from Mars

Cambodia is my current location.  Siem Reap would actually be a nice town except its rainy season and there's mud everywhere.  This place has really taken off from when I was here in 2000.  Where there used to be one bar there is now a whole street of tourist bars and restaurants.  Everything here is priced in USD.  Used to take Baht too.  They're not into taking Baht too much these days though since 2 years ago when the Thais laid claim to Angkor Wat.  No surprisingly, the Khmers are very proud of Angkor Wat so burnt down the Thai embassy creating quite the international incident. 

The journey here was a proper  b'stard.  Actually stronger words are in order.  I was feeling rather slack and didn't want to get stuck in the Cambodian border town of Poi Pet. Lonely Planet lists it as a 'hole' with no redeeming features.  Anyway, ended up on one of these crap bus scams.  Caught the bus at 7:30 in Bangkok.  Had to wait until about 9 before it left and it then proceeded to the border at an incredibly slow pace.  Then we had to wait at the border.  Then cross the border and wait for about 3 hours.  Didn't get to Siem Reap until midnight where they drop you at a guesthouse on the outskirts of town.  Serves me right for being lazy and taking tourist transport when I'm quite capable of getting about like the locals.  Seems to be very little waiting around, I just arrive, totally unaware of the time (I have no watch)  and there's a bus about to leave.  Learnt that trick in Sumatra and it seems to work universally.  This would have got me there 6 hrs earlier!

The road has not improved in 6 years, I think it has actually got worse.  Although there are now buses instead of the back of a Toyota Hilux.  In the feeble orange headlights of the bus the road surface looked not unlike NASA images of Mars although I think it would be a smoother ride on Mars.  Maybe they should develop a commercial version of the Rover for Cambodian use.  I think a hovercraft service would do real well.  At one place there was a detour sign before a rickety wooden bridge which we hooned right past.  The drivers helper / guide hopped out, jumped up and down on it, then we cruised over anyway.  We had only been moving for about a half hour before the driver got out and filled up the radiator.  Then the aircon  stopped so he got out and fixed that.  Then the suspension.  All part of the time waste to get you in town in the middle of the night.  So many people had left excellent feedback on the whiteboards there, guess they were grateful to have accommodation after an arduous trip and weren't savvy enough to realise it was a scam.

Yesterday was pretty laid back.  Had breakfast with 3 fullas, a Malaysian, a Japanese and an Indian from new york.  An unlikely bunch we were, met them on the bus.  I'm not into supporting scams, so left and found a decent guest house in town.  Got some tasty restaurants here and Internet access.  Decent broadband, no decent road but they have a good Internet and mobile network!  I had a very good dinner with an English chick comprising of a Cambodian fish dish called Amok.  Highly recommended!  Gave a $ to a dude with no arms.  He was jovial despite his condition and very pleased. $1 will probably feed him for 2 or 3 days at local prices.  There are a lot of amputees here due to the several million land mines still dotting the region. 

This moto rider kept harassing me for custom.  After a little while the idea looked pleasing so I jumped on for a $1 hours ride around the place.  We cruised around a bit, me scoping for people from my bus but naught to be found so I asked to go to a cheap bar, so he takes me to a "massage"parlour.  Gets a commission I take it.  So I went in for a look anyway.  There was a large window behind which sat about 20 very beautiful, very bored Asian women.   They probably have to sit there all night.  All these older Chinese looking dudes were coming and going.  I got the guy to drop me off at the tourist bars.  What a horrid place, not unlike Khaosan road but a bit classier and without the markets. Was a lot of awful, loud western music there all competing with each other.  After toying with the idea of getting a drink and having a yarn, I stumbled across a really good bookshop which was infinitely more interesting than the dreadful cacophony outside.   Did enough drinking in Ayutthaya I figured so was quite content to have an early night.  I saw Happy Herb Pizza on my way back, I remember that place from last time : )

I was going to attempt to get into Angkor Thom for a night mish... there being a nice full moon but gave up on that.  There is so much cloud, one can't even see the moon let alone wander about ruins beneath its light.  Still got a big gash on my shin from a barbed wired fence in Ayutthaya!  The sun does shine during the day here however, followed by an awesome afternoon downpour.  More like the rainy season I remember as opposed to the constant cloud and smog of Bangkok.

Goings on in Bangkok before I left...

People seem to be friendlier of late, not sure if its the vibe I put out, the effect of the full moon or what.  Its big Buddha day today as a young Thai fulla called it (Buddhist lent I just found out) so there is a public holiday today and tomorrow.  Kind of put a spanner in the works for acquiring some USD to get to Cambodia.
 
After 2 hours of massage the other night I was feeling pretty good so hung out in the gutter in search of frivolous banter.  No beer necessary.  Had a good chat to a french Canadian.  I think she was a lesbian, looked like a boy, spoke with a deep voice and had a strong handshake.  Good sort though. She had Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy in French.   She's living with a bunch of young Thai fullas.  Good way to experience the culture.

Kebab o'clock came around and it came was some excellent 'street theatre'.  This dorky looking European fulla was standing against a wall looking like the noddy he was.  This overly made up, bling wearing Thai girl with an arm full of shopping, a new bag and false smile was standing across from him at a food vendor.  She turned and waved at him and said "Bye".  He immediately walked over and grabbed the bag and shopping off her.  She was trying to snatch her new treasures back and they had a little scuffle and some heated argument.  Was most entertaining for both me and this Spanish lass sitting at the Kebab stand.  In fact I was laughing my arse off purely at his expense but serves him right.

There was this crook as Aussie guy at my guesthouse the last night.  He was a good sort so I gave him some Codrals and he was feeling much better.  Cant go past those good old legally obtainable opiate and amphetamine pills.  Cure anything, well, makes you feel cured until it goes away of it's own accord anyway.


Better get out of here before the afternoon storm!

Part XVII - Beer Chang and Lara Croft

Still hanging in Ayutthaya. Its a worthy place, my only grievance being the barking dogs all over the place. There's an expat English metaller named Des staying at Baan Suan (my guesthouse) at the moment. He works in Bangkok and can speak very good thai, which is amusing to watch. We've been out the last couple of nights cruising the backpacker bars chasing skirt and talking about cricket and Iron Maiden. Drank way to much on thursday night and hung out in the ruins for a little while ony my way back. The big doors on the prang at Wat Ratchaburana were unlocked so I descended down into the crypt. Creeeepy..... Got back home about 3:45 and had to find my way in tomb raider styles... up the fence, along the roof and onto the balcony to get in. Had the hell hangover and its not pleasant in the relentless heat so I spent the afternoon at the nice cool internet cafe playing games. Played Red Alert against this local kid but my skills are a bit rusty and he wasted me.

Last night was a bit more sedate. A couple of quiet beers on farang street.

I went in to recon this bar but it was just full of men talkin' shizer. This dude sitting by himself looked interesting so I rocked over for a chat. Turned out he's a french scholar by the name of Saul. He's been studying Peter and the prophet Malachi and has written a book. I took a look at the manuscript, he's going to rewrite it in a format more palatable for the masses though. Da Vinci code styles. Had a good yarn for a couple of hours about juicy subjects like early man and aquatic ape theories.

Would you believe it. Some little Thai sh!t stole my sandals from outside the internet cafe. May dreadful tinea, gout and any other nasty podiatric complaints plague him for as long as he is in possession of them! They smelt really bad too, maybe a dog ate them.

Aaaaggh. Another hangover! Back down at farang street last night with Des was I. Bad influence is Des. There weren't many people out, met this nice dutch girl though.

Ayutthaya is like a warlord state, much like Mogadishu, but run by dogs. I was wandering around town with the dutch girl in the wee small hours of the morning and every street had its own resident pack of stray dogs which would bark and growl at us. Getting near my guesthouse though, the leader of the local pack came over, tail wagging big doggy grin. She always looked at me with sad eyes when ever I'd walk past. I must have been around town long enough to be accepted as part of her pack as she walked all the way down the street with us and the rest of the pack came too. When a dog started barking at us from behind a gate, she moved in close to the dutch girl and growled at the other dog.

Nearly forgot, I saw a fight! In the street outside the bar, this obnoxious fat balding farang started yelling in thai at the thai barman. I think he thought he was overcharged. The thai took the discussion in side as the thais aren't much down with loud arguments (saving face is everything here) but next thing they were rolling around on the floor. Was great! Des and I ran in to sort it out.

Back in Bangkok now. Khaosan road is as horrid as ever, especially having been away in a much better place. Was a pretty easy trip, a tuk tuk driver at the bus station even pointed the way to the city bus I needed. I ran into Saul at Khasoan too. I was beginnning to take for granted the friendliness of the people I ran into at Ayutthaya, travellers included. I went to the common area at my guesthouse and said hello to this european woman there and she just looked at me. Horrid, horrid place....

Got a not very good thai massage from this mad old woman named Suphap0rn. In Bangkok I got a massage from a woman just named P0rn. Good old thai names.

Gotta get myself across the Cambodian border pronto, cutting it pretty fine with the expiry date on my visa. Looks like its going to be full moon while I'm at Angkor, wicked! Will have to find a local to take me on a nocturnal temple visitation.

Part XVIb - More ruins

Ayutthaya is definately a cool place. Loads of large undeveloped grassy areas as they're protected as part of the historical park.

I did the whole ruin sneaking thing again last night. Well, no sneaking this time. I went off insearch of another ruin and took the scenic route this time, after some time I still hadn't found it, strange, its huge. So I walked across this large area of park land and suddenly there it was in all its glory. I was at the back of it and there was no gate so in I strolled on in.

Once again I spent ages in there and ran into a Canadian fulla doing exactly as I was. Bus loads of tourists would turn up outside every now and then and try to take pictures of the ruins 100 meters away with a flash. duh... I wandered around for some time then when I was lying down taking a particularly cool photo, I turned around and saw this dude standing over me saying "no". So I got booted out and headed back to my 'house.

There are actually lots of people staying at my place at the moment. The first night it was just me. I had a yarn to this tidy little Japanese girl by the name of Timoko . She said she was in house removals. I though surely not, must have misheard... until I saw her bicep. Seem to be running into a lot of Japanese.

Thats all folks.

Part XVIa - More adventures at the ruins.



Yesterday morning, astride my mighty decrepit bicycle I set off around town to check out ruins. Wat Sumphullaehbro on the other sie of the river was cool. Lots of decapitated buddha statues.

After getting my fill, I headed off to the other side of town, quite a considerable distance to an old Wat that isn't in ruins. It was cool, except 4 coach loads of green clad school kids turned up making a hell of a racket. So I kept that visit short.

Ahh.. another post necessary today.

Part XVI - Ayutthaya

Well peoples. I finally got out of the rut that was keeping me in Bangkok. I kept sleeping in past checkout time so would end up in town for another day. Theres only so much inspiration one can get from sitting on the pavement with a beer. Some people make a life of it, I'm not sure how they manage it, maybe I didn't drink enough beer. I did however get some good work done. Scary sight, a few days ago I went to reception and grandma was sitting there with no top on.

I am now in Ayutthaya, which was once the Thai capital until the Burmese laid waste to it. Which was a good thing from my perspective cos now theres lots of cool ruins there! I could easily imagine the sounds of the Burmese as they rampaged throught the place. Most people do Ayutthaya as as 500 baht day trip from Bangkok so you get to turn up with a whole lot of other tourists. I chose the more adventurous option. Catch a local bus and stay in town for a couple of days. Was easy as. I hired a decrepit old bike to get around on. The locations of the ruins are reasonably compact but it beats walking.














My guest house is quite nice lots of greenery about (see below). Luxury compared to my Bangkok digs. It is damn hot here, don't know how they could be arsed to actually wage war. Then again, setting elephants loose in the enemies capital would no doubt be quite entertaining. Better than a day in the rice paddies...















The net cafe is pretty sweet. Dirt cheap and has comfy armchairs. It full of kids playing games though, the only problem being is I can hear someone playing Red Alert and now I want to!

The bicycle is a highly underated mode of transport in this day and age me thinks. I it great fun to cycle drunkenly about town in the middle of the night. I managed to get some really tasty pad thai. Quite different ot the Khaosan Road variety, much tastier... then again, I'd had a couple of beers. I was in charge of the condiments at Khaosan too, come to think of it.

Hmm... the internet went down so its now 2 days later...

I know it was nawdy but... I snuck into the ruins cos they're heaps better at night.

I set off, beer in hand for the whole 5 minute walk to the nearest ruins. They look choice with the spot lights on them. I was walking along the outsite of Wat Carmina Burana and there was an old security fulla waking along there too. He new what was on my mind but I guestured that I was going to stay outside and walked all the way around which was worthy anyway.

Then I walked down the street to Wat Daphukisdat and it looked really inviting. I kept on wandering around the wall but when I got to the back the wall was low and I was up on it taking a pic anyway, so I climbed on in for a look around. There was an awesome atmosphere, intense, sneaking about from shadow to shadow. Security are lazy, they sit at their lit up little both near the gate and stay there. They're probably there mainly to stop the local kids from loitering about sniffing glue like at the first ruins I visited in town. Rubber cement seems to be the solvent of choice for the asian youth, I saw the little cans in Georgetown too. Any way, I spent about 2 hours wandering about the place. Found a really cool buddhas head crushed by tree roots and was lying down taking a photo when I got narked out by an astute dog. So I had to escape pronto and discretely scale the wall back to the street.

There are 6 internet cafes all in a row here and they seem to be full of kids and youths at any time of the day. Thought I'd avoid them by arriving in the morning, but no.

Hmm.. seem to have reached the photo limit. Time for another post.

More ealier photos from Georgetown.

City gallery. It has another name but I forget.

Cool ruins

The mosque where I got told off.



At the gallery again.


The same mosque


Creepy graveyard.

Some earlier photos.

Chinese fulla chillin on the porch.

Clock tower in Penang.

My secret temple hidden in the forest.

Inspiratation for a certain historical figure maybe...

Contemplating how to pose with a BFG. War museum at Penang.
Temple complex at Penang
Observing some reptillian critter.

Some more random pictures.

2 Japanese hippies trying to decipher some japanese script in the french girls diary. At an undisclosed location off Khaosan Road.

2 Second delay action shot at a Wat at the old palace in Bangkok.

Rampaging bovine. A very small part of the Ramakien mural at the above Wat.

There is a very made up thai girl sitting opposite me doing her utmost to get my attention at the present time. The jury is out on sex of origin however...